sex, drugs, and justice
by kaiakills
Summary: yea, bad title, i know. basically a yaoi retelling, as many of the fanfics for matt and mello are, but it follows the Manga alot more. told from matts point of veiw, so it's gonna be rediculous, but the end, i must warn you, is sort of lame.


SEX, DRUGS, AND JUSTICE

I stand there, staring out the window at the circle of police surrounding my car. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but Mello said I'd be fine. Now look what he's gotten into. It's because of that stupid asshole I'm in this situation anyways.

I guess it really all started at Wammy's. That's the orphanage where gifted children go to become L's successors. I was one of them, right behind Mello's attitude and Near's intellect. I hated being behind Mello, and he hated always being second to Near. But I'd rather be second to Near than to Mello. Maybe that's why I always shadowed Mello when we where younger. I guess I wanted to be him so bad, I actually clung to him, following his every move exactly in hopes of learning to do something, _anything_, better than him. I never really could though. I remained third in line to succeed L.

But all that's totally beside the point. That's just a background story: of no importance whatsoever. The real story began when he left Wammy's.

I'm not really sure what happened that day. I asked him repetitively when he walked in the room, but he just continued his furious packing without a word. I always knew him to be dramatic, but never had I seen him so enraged. Eventually I just bowed my head and stared at my shoe-covered toes as he rushed around the room, taking anything and everything he could fit in the small suitcase. To this day, he keeps that day hidden in his mind, though I now know what happened in Rogers office on that rainy day: Roger asked Mello and Near to work together on the Kira investigation, an impossibility for my arrogant friend.

So Mello left, and all I could think to do is sit at my window and watch as he walked out of the perimeters of the Wammy house forever. I cannot deny that a part of me wanted him to return (a part of me I didn't understand yet, I might add), but I knew he would never be back. There just wasn't anything left for him there. After that day, I learned the true intensity of loneliness.

With Mello gone, I had no one there for me. No one was there to scare of the cruel kids who always wanted to pick on the boy with the sensitive eyes. there was no one to stop others from taunting the stupid kid. No one to prevent classmates from chanting "you don't belong here". I was alone, with no one to kick those who bothered me in the shins.

After about a week of such torment and bullying, I locked myself away in my room, just staring at the walls. I wouldn't even come out for food. Instead, one of the cafeteria aides would bring a tray to my room each night, three times a day.

I did leave my room once, though. To go shopping. I'd had money saved from past birthdays before my parents died at age nine, and I had hopes of discarding it as soon as possible. I had no use for money, really, but I thought it be better to buy something to keep my mind off the torture my peers put me through rather than throwing it all away.

Of course, as a fourteen-year-old boy with five hundred dollars in his pocket, what did I buy? A Play Station 2, PSP, and as many games as I could afford. Come on, what else would I buy? Sex toys? No, not yet (whoops, I'm getting ahead of myself). Anyway, that's where all my money went… as well as my innocence.

See, sure I spent every cent I had on the games and systems, but I didn't stop at my last penny. Let's just say some of the games where "free" for me. ok fine, I stole them, so sue me. It's not like I haven't done worse lately. I mean, come on! I'm surrounded by police right now. That doesn't happen from stealing a couple games.

Regardless, that's how what Mello calls my "obsession" began. Ok, so I locked myself in my room again. Fun. Only now, it really was. I became entranced; fascinated by the lively characters in each game I played. In a way, they where the closest thing to a friend I'd had since Mello. Each with their own personality, they kept me company through all those Melloless nights.

Ok, I lied. My story begins now. That was just me feeling sorry for myself. Now is what you've been waiting for. That's right, now I'm going to tell you about a little thing called a "cheap fuck". I had many of them. Ok, so the first wasn't exactly voluntary, and it got me to lock myself away in my room for another month and a half. But it's a fun story, so here it goes.

Number one was a classmate of mine. He was a real asshole, but I'd gotten used to his ridicule. Basically, that consisted of me hiding away beneath staircases or in closets. So, turns out all that ridicule wasn't because I wasn't smart or because I couldn't go out in the sun without my goggles. It was actually because he liked me, or at least my ass, and didn't want anyone calling him a fag, which he really wasn't… he basically just fucked anything that moved, and I was always on the move when people actually saw me.

So I was on my way to see Near to, you know, clear up what happened the day Mello left (what can I say, I was curious), when he came striding past me. Both of us where alone… yea I know, never a good thing when someone wants your ass, but how was I supposed to know? He cornered me, his face way too close for comfort. Ok, at that point I knew I was in trouble, but I thought I'd best cooperate to make my punishment that mush less dreadful. His tongue stroked the side of my face and he nibbled on my ear. It sounds sexy now, but when you're fourteen and (at the time) straight, it totally freaks you out. I cringed under his firm grasp, but he showed no resistance. His lips brushed against mine as I struggled. Once I felt his tongue in my mouth, however, the shock froze my body in place. I felt like my eyes would burst from their sockets as he massaged the inside of my mouth with his saliva. Gross.

He finally pulled away, but I still couldn't move. Hi put his lips to my ear and whispered "let's go somewhere else" before dragging my stiff body into his room. He threw my stiff body through the doorway, releasing me from my trance at last. I backed away... into another corner (I told you I'm not the brightest), and he came toward me, blocking me in with his arms. He took my wrists in his right hand, stroking my cheek with his right. I tried closing my eyes, so I wouldn't see his face. Somehow, I thought that would make the situation easier. It didn't.

His tongue pushed past me lips, but this time I forced myself to kiss him back. I thought he might let me go if I did. Apparently, it gave him more incentive. He smiled, throwing me onto the mattress by my wrists. Before I could move again, he was straddling my body, keeping me trapped between the sheets and his ass. He leaned down on me, his tongue licking my ear. "I'll show you a good time" he promised. A shiver ran down my spine at the words. I remember his hands following my sides until he reached my belt. His hands then followed that, and his fingers stumbled with the buckle. I think I started to cry, but I don't remember that much. I _do, _however, remember the button of my jeans being undone, the zipper being pulled down, and his hand down my pants. Ok, I know the whole story so far was a tragic tale of rape or whatever, but I'm not going to lie: there is nothing like getting jerked off for the first time. Seriously, if you're a guy, you know what I mean. And I'll tell you now; he was the best with his hands. I mean, besides Mello because he was, like… never mind, you'll hear that later.

So being jerked of: good. Taking it up the ass: bad. And let me tell you… That shit HURTS! Especially your first time. I mean, here I am, sitting here, totally relaxed, getting a hand job from some guy I can't even stand, then BAM! He shoves his dick up there. Not only that, but he keep thrusting in and out of me for, like, a half hour before he finally comes. I was so pissed. I would have run from the room if my ass didn't hurt so much. That's when I rushed back to my video games. A month in a half later, I screwed him, then left Wammy's for good. I guess I'm more like Mello than I thought.

After my little incident with Brian, I went througfh this stage where I was sure I was gay. So, naturally, the next three I screwed where guys. There wasn't really anything special there. They where just pleasure fucks. The next one: Julia. She's story number two.

I met Julia at work. Oh, might be a good time to mention that I started working at an auto shop after I left Wammy's. I was fifteen when I met here… she was twenty-four. So, she liked younger guys? What's wrong with that? You know what, I screwed her and that's all that matters.

Julia _really _liked sex. I'm talking a twenty-four-seven fuck fest. Unfortunately, she liked sex a little too much.

I let her live in the shitty little apartment I was living in after she was evicted from hers. It was easier that way anyways. She never really went home before. So, I came home from work one day a little early… ok so I got fired after I got in a huge fight with my boss and told him to fuck off. Whatever, that's not important. What's the first thing I see when I walk through the door? She's on _my_ fucking couch with some guy from the university she was attending at the time straddling over her.

Don't get me wrong. I've cheated… a lot. But it's totally different when you've got a good, steady relationship with some chick you've been sheltering for the past three month because she cant take care of herself, only to have it all blow up in your face. So I kicked her out of my apartment.

As for her lover… his name was Ben, and he was fucking amazing in bed.

Ben was a one night stand, though. More for revenge than anything else. In fact, most of my relationships after that where. There was Kayla, Dan, Mike, Gina, Tanya, Erin, Aaron, Wendy, Josh, Hannah, Samantha, Sandra, Omar, and Kyo. There where plenty of others, but like I'm supposed to remember their names in the morning. I was drunk half the time anyways.

My next and most recent REAL relationship: Mello.

I don't know exactly how all this happened. It was this year, and I was supposed to be meeting some guy whose name I can't remember at some gay bar I can't forget. That place was sickening. I mean, it reeked of puke, and the floors where covered in some unknown substance which failed to leave my boots after I left. I constantly checked my cell for the time, as well as the cancellation I was hoping for. Eventually, the phone did ring, but the voice on the other end was not the one I was expecting.

"Look behind you" the voice said calmly.

Looking back, a familiar, feminine figure with shoulder length golden hair, an all leather outfit, and the sly, threatening eyes I would never forget glared at me, two tables from the bar, which was where I sat.

Of course, I joined him immediately. This was the reunion I'd been waiting for for so long. Then, realizing where we where, I wondered what he was doing there. "you know, you might want to watch out. Some of the girls here might try to pick you up, that long hair might throw them off."

He glared at me before his face softened and he asked, "I don't look that much like a girl, do I?"

I laughed at his blushing cheeks. "Yes."

He looked away quickly. "Like I care."

"What are you doing here, Mello?"

"Same as you. Looking for a cheap fuck."

"Since when are you into guys?"

"Since when are you?"

"Since Brian screwed me."

"Brain McCalnn from Wammy's?"

"Yea."

"Thought that asshole hated you."

"So did I until he had his way with me."

"But—"

"Look, that's not important. Why did you call me over here? Or, better yet, how did you get my number?"

"Well, I know you love New York, so I figured I'd look you up here. Your answering machine gives out you cell phone number. It was all too easy to find it."

"And how did you know I'd be here?"

"Totally coincidental. You just happened to be the only one I've ever seen who always has those goggles on, so I knew it was you. But, you said you wanted to know why I called you over, right?"

"Yea…"

"Well, I need your help. I never thought I'd be saying that to you, but I do. You know how to handle a gun, don't you?"

Ok, so I guess I should take a break for a minute to explain this one. The answer is yes. I didn't exactly stop at stealing video games. After I got fired from the auto shop, I was short on money. So robbing local stores and gas stations became a necessity. On top of that, I found I could make a pretty good living off of drugs. I guess the drug dealing is where I gained real experience with guns. Some of those junkies are fucking crazy.

Back to the conversation.

"Yea, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing, yet. But, I'm sure it will be necessary sooner or later, so it's best to be safe."

"But, what do you need me for? I'm no better at anything than you are."

"Actually, you are. I've heard about you. I was in the mafia and you where quite a well known criminal, so I know quite a bit about your past. Robberies, breaking and entering, safe-cracking. Plus, I heard about you holding that girl hostage—"

"Ok, wait! That chick's boyfriend stole my stash, so I was just trying to get the money he owed me. Once in a lifetime thing. Besides, I don't see why that's important. What exactly are you trying to do?"

"Plus Kira isn't able to kill you, since he doesn't know your name… Mail Jeevas."

"Ok, first off, shut the fuck up because you're the only one who knows me by that name. Second, why don't you just answer my question instead of ignoring me?"

"I'm going to catch Kira. For once, I'm going to beat Near."

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"I help him and he helps me. All I have to do is keep my accomplice on the down low and he'll thing he's ahead of the game."

"And who's this 'accomplice'?"

"You."

"Your screwed."

"Shut up! Are you going to help me or not?"

"Sure, what have I got to loose other than my reputation, my identity, and my life."

"Good. Let's go."

That was the first time I ever stood anyone up. I don't know what happened to that guy I was supposed to be meeting there, but he sure as hell never found me. I had fourteen missed calls by the time Mello and I got to my apartment.

"You live here?"

"What?"

"It's a shit hole."

"Shut up. It's shelter. That's all that matters. Besides, at least I don't have anything growing on my face."

"Fuck you! It's a burn, not that it's any of your business."

"What happened?"

He shot me a cold glare. "Not important."

"Ok, fine." I walked into the kitchen, pizza boxes and beer cans out of my way the whole time. "You want a beer?"

"Why not."

I grabbed two cans from the refrigerator and made my way back to the couch. I hand Mello a beer before sitting beside him with my own. As if the five years we'd been separated never existed he leaned on my shoulder, gripping my arm with both hands. "Thanks, Matt."

I looked down at him. in so many ways, he really did look like a girl. His blonde, shimmering hair, those fierce eyes, his slim figure, those full lips. I felt my body responsively leaning closer to those lips. I thought he'd push me away, throw a tantrum, anything but just sit there. But he did, and when my lips touched his, his hand reached for my hair, pulling me closer to him. I cupped his chin in my hand, in a way asking permission to enter his mouth. His lips parted in reply, and I slipped my tongue into his welcoming mouth. The taste was incredible, and I couldn't force myself off of him. Not that he seemed to mind it much.

He finally pulled away, but his flavor was calling me, and I kept my forehead on his, waiting for him to let his guard down so I could taste him again.

"Damn it, Matt! Slow down, will you?"

I didn't reply. I couldn't. my lips where swollen from his and each time he spoke the sweet aroma of his breath stunned me. I have a sensitive side. Who knew?

My hands massaged his neck as I tried to force away the desire to kiss him again. Of course, the emotion I was feeling was all too strong, and I didn't think I'd be able to stay away much longer. In fact, I was so entranced I didn't even notice when he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled my cock out, so feeling his warm mouth on my dick surprised me a bit.

I'd never felt anything like that before. I mean, I'd gotten head from just about everyone I dated or just did, but none of them where as good as Mello. Maybe it was because I truly loved him, or maybe it was just a talent of his, but it was the greatest feeling in the world.

It didn't take me long to get a little too excited. I came, and he swallowed every drop. I never expected such a thing from him, but I guess I really didn't know him too well anymore. I mean, the last time I saw him he was fourteen, straight, and bullied everyone except me.


End file.
